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| | | Junior Member
 
Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 4/26/2006 11:10:01 AM
Posts: 19, Visits: 65 |
| It seems these days that it is not coming out that is the hard part, but that it is getting out in the community and meeting people that is the hard part.
I am so extremely shy, and to just go to the roost or to a dance alone or even to the pride centre would be scary as heck.
And whenever there is a girl I am interested in I don't know what to do, I mean you don't always know who is a lesbian just by looking and well I am way to shy to do anything. lol
So really, how did all those that are super involved in the community do it? Did you have friends support or did you just have the courage to get out there and do it?
Please help me lol. I need it. I am only shy at first.. once i get to know people I am super outgoing.
Thanks for listening 
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Forum Member
Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 2/7/2006 10:44:38 PM
Posts: 33, Visits: 22 |
| Hey!!! Welcome to the forum.
I guess not all homosexuals/bisexuals have 'gay-dar', eh, I can completely relate to your post.
It does help to have open-minded friends [or even family] that are willing to go with you to the roost and pride events and what not... but, in some ways... It's like you have to learn how to be yourself and just - go for things.
If you always think about the 'what if's' ... "what if she's not a lesbian?" "what if she's not into girls like me" ... and all those other negative thoughts... then you'll never get anywhere.
Was talking to some people in a yahoo chat the other day... and they said that meeting women in bars wasn't the best way to go about things... that chatting online and meeting up was the best way... it all depends on the person. No doubt it's safer to go out with a group of people.... Even if it's just one other person....
 I'm shy, too... that's why i prefer to hang out online and chat with people over the net, heh. 
But... i'm rambling.
Just do whatever you feel comfortable with at first ... If you *want* to go to the roost, but have no one to go with... You can always go when it's less busy... or something... and scope it out first... Just do little things until you're comfy with yourself and... stop worrying about what people might think/react.
*scratches head in thought* sorry, i guess none of that sounded reassuring... or made sense... i'm trying!
But, eh, maybe it's a comfort to know that a lot of people are in the same boat??
Talk to ya later ^.~
"it's been a pleasure, but I have to scream now." |
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Supreme Dictator of the Forums (Moderator/Administrator)
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| baby steps I preferred to take the "baby steps" approach to getting involved with the community I came out to a few friends (and alot of strangers - 'cause what did I care? they were strangers!) when I was 16 - when I was 18 I started going to the Roost on Fridays (because it was less crowded, so I was more comfortable) - took a hiatus for almost a year before some friends took me out on a saturday and I had a total blast.. I started volunteering with the Pride Centre (which I unfortunately don't do anymore because of my multiple jobs) when I started doing the social work program - officially for the sake of the experience - but it really helped with me becoming more comfortable with myself and wanting to be more involved I wanted to make it to Pride last year but unfortunately missed it for work... so this year is the first that I made it and I had a great time in spite of the rain... I sort of got off topic here - but basically I'm trying to say that it's easier to be involved with the community if you're comfortable in your own skin... as far as meeting people worth dating - I can't help you - I'm romantically inept (but I'm happy, so it's all good)
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"When I give food to the poor, they call me a saint. When I ask why the poor have no food, they call me a communist."
-Dom Helder Camara |
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Forum Member
Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 2/7/2006 10:44:38 PM
Posts: 33, Visits: 22 |
| *sigh* I wonder how jasce is doing?
 It would've been nice to get an update Eh.. *shifty eyes* spamspamspam! Oh! To be on topic! I was reading around on LJ [livejournal]... and this one person mentioned hategroups!
Apparently there's a problem with: http://straightpridewear.com
Well, it's not so much the *clothes* that's a problem, it's the people wearing it.
Eh, scary stuff...
"it's been a pleasure, but I have to scream now." |
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| | | Junior Member
Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 4/26/2006 11:10:01 AM
Posts: 19, Visits: 65 |
| sorry been so busy lately. Thanks for the advice. I have been meeting some people online and chatting with them, even hung out with one girl.
I am just gonna take baby steps cause if I did it too fast I would get so very intimidated. lol
Thanks again |
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Forum Member
Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 2/7/2006 10:44:38 PM
Posts: 33, Visits: 22 |
| Aiee! You're alive!!!!!!
Busy is good ^o^ I guess it's better than spending all of your time online and checking this site, like, billions of times an hour to see if anyone posted anything, heh.
But it's awesome to hear that you're meeting people ^.^
Thanks for the update.
*poke*
~Blupawz
"it's been a pleasure, but I have to scream now." |
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Forum Newbie
Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 7/30/2005 3:21:00 AM
Posts: 1, Visits: 1 |
| I can definetly relate. I would absolutely love to meet a girl who I could be in a relationship with and just to have that intimacy in my life would be great. But I'm too shy to just get out there and go for it even though I don't come off as shy in the least.
Where do you all go to meet people? Not just romantically but for friendships too.
If you feel discouraged
That there's a lack of |
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Forum Member
Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 2/7/2006 10:44:38 PM
Posts: 33, Visits: 22 |
| Hey, Neon!
"Where do you all go to meet people? Not just romantically but for friendships too."
Just around! There's of course the bars and clubs... Youth Understanding Youth is really good...
The parade...
Or just like how you make friends with anyone else... It can all start with a friendly smile, a casual remark or just a "hey" *shrugs*
Talking to people online is usually a really good way to make friends...
Anyways! I'm off to Heritage Days 
Talk to ya later.
~blupawz
"it's been a pleasure, but I have to scream now." |
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| | | Junior Member
Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 4/26/2006 11:10:01 AM
Posts: 19, Visits: 65 |
| I chat in a lesbian chat room, only a few edmonton lesbians go there, but it gives me a place to feel comfortable. and I have met a few from edmonton in there, so it is a start at least. www.shoe.org if you are interested in looking into it.
I am to old for the youth group, cause i am 27. and it seems that the groups for older people, are for older than 27.. I dont' really see a place for me. I will find one someday I hope. |
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