Pride Centre Of Edmonton Forums / Pride Centre of Edmonton Forums / General Discussion / coming out vs. getting out / Latest Posts

RE: coming out vs. getting out

Industrium-Love — Fri, 07 Dec 2007 21:33:28 GMT

I guess im just super out there. i live in the small town Leduc jus out side of edmonton and i no every one

but i donno thats just me. you need to start small and meet people as you meet a friend suprisingly youll meet more gay people than you think.

an if u want sum1 to talk ta gimme a shout pce an goodluck

RE: coming out vs. getting out

serena — Tue, 07 Mar 2006 10:38:21 GMT

>>Not only in "getting into" the community but making friends in general.

Hmmm... Try coming out to the Potluck on Monday, March the 13th at the Pride Centre, or try the In Out Get together group (recently launched) which aims at providing a social space, or try the Mad Hatter's Ball on the 18th.

Perhaps you may want to see the Volleyball group, bowling or curling or look out for Open Mic nites. Browse the website or drop by the Centre to collect pamphlets and loads of other information material.

Does this help?

RE: coming out vs. getting out

JoshuaColford — Sun, 05 Mar 2006 21:04:55 GMT

I've been in Edmonton for a couple of months now and finding it really hard to adjust here. Not only in "getting into" the community but making friends in general. I am not sure if its just city folk that I dont get but Edmonton is a hard city to meet people. I stumbled accross this website, read through some of the posts and find it refreshing finding a site that is not precluded by sexual encounters but actual thoughts and feelings of the GLBT community.

As well it seems that the only way to meet people here is at the bars, and well ive done the bar scene and done my time of hazy nights and bad beer with awful headaches. Ive done the online thing and well yes ive met some great people but find the majority are only after one thing.

Ive lived in 4 different countries and had many life experiences but find Edmonton has been one of the hardest places to live so far......

Thoughts? comments? all would be greatly appreciated.

RE: coming out vs. getting out

megolftoo — Tue, 07 Feb 2006 22:40:27 GMT

So, while I understand your plight, the lesbian wine tasters completely distracted me from your post. For that, I apologize but at the same time, I would like to know more about these said "wine tasters".

Where did you stumble across this group of lesbian wine tasters, and point me in their direction if you please. I appreciate your assistance, and thank you for your info.

golfy golferson

RE: coming out vs. getting out

SamuraiGene — Mon, 06 Feb 2006 09:48:36 GMT

Hey there, like a lot of you, I'm trying to become more involved in the community, but there just doesn't seem to be much out there in Edmonton. I've checked a few resources, but I'm not a naturist, I'm not into leather, I'm not transgender, I'm not a bear...the only one that has sparked my interest was the lesbian wine tasters, but I'm not a lesbian either

I know we have the Roost or Buddies in Edmonton, but I'm not a big fan of clubs whether they're gay or straight. What's a gay man to do?

RE: coming out vs. getting out

LonleyBiLadyinEdmonton — Thu, 26 Jan 2006 14:11:58 GMT

I would be interested, if the date works with my crazy schedule... keep me posted!

RE: coming out vs. getting out

Brendan — Sat, 21 Jan 2006 14:35:37 GMT

well I am trying to convince a few people to try arrange a board meet-up but so far there's only about 3 people (incld. me) who are interested

RE: coming out vs. getting out

jasce — Wed, 18 Jan 2006 18:04:44 GMT

So have any of you got over this fear yet? I noticed a few of you felt the same way I do. Anyone finding they are getting more into the community somehow? Is anyone finding that it is a welcoming community here? I still find that it is very hard to get into the community.

RE: coming out vs. getting out

chrisgladue — Fri, 04 Nov 2005 12:21:21 GMT

I would have to agree with all your posts. I have been out in Edmonton for over two years, and I only have one gay friend. I know a few other gay people but it isn't easy. I say keep on trekking.

RE: coming out vs. getting out

miss_lady_godiva — Tue, 18 Oct 2005 21:53:48 GMT

Hey, don't worry you're not alone.

This is my first time on this site. I live outside of Edmonton in a smaller city and it's even harder here, plus my friends all know but won't go anywhere with me. I'm not a shy person, but hanging out in a bar in Edmonton alone...that scares me with everything that happens these days. I go online a lot too, but mostly i find married women who want something on the side, or someone to live with her and her husband...thats not for me. To all who have this problem good luck (and if you find anywhere good to hang out let me know) plus, what goes on at the pride center?

RE: coming out vs. getting out

Krystalann — Tue, 20 Sep 2005 12:34:25 GMT

hahah im totally just like u...im so shy at first but once u get to know me u will think im so crazy...im really open after a while...but yeah i dont know how people just get out and talk to other people,...my girlfriend wants to take me to the pride center...well i wanna go..i wanna get more involved...but there is no way i could go alone becuase its hard enough being gay lol..being gay and being a loner is just twice as bad..thats how i see it...i always see that youth understanding youth thing in see magazine...maybe thats a place to go for u...the roost is really fun...so like going with a friend who is straight and no offended by gay people might be ur ticket...because then you can hit on girls...and ur still not alone so if u dont have a dancing partner your friend is there for yah!

RE: coming out vs. getting out

Pixie Grrl — Mon, 19 Sep 2005 23:20:57 GMT

With me I find that it's not only hard to find people that are like minded in the community but most people in general. Guess that's just one of the many ways kooky.

RE: coming out vs. getting out

LonleyBiLadyinEdmonton — Wed, 31 Aug 2005 09:10:49 GMT

Amen to that Valiant! Amen!!!

RE: coming out vs. getting out

Valiant — Tue, 30 Aug 2005 23:15:33 GMT

Oh, yeah, totally with you on the "how to find ppl" problem. And the worst part is that it's not correlated with your years. Even if you came out two decades ago, or are in your 60s, you can still run into that Social Sahara Desert situation where you have problems hooking up with like-minded folks.

I've been stuck with nothing but straight friends when it comes to my once-a-month D&D gaming group and my World of Warcraft LAN buddies. They can be great to hang with, but they just don't understand when I say that I'd like some...well, GAYNESS at the table for a change.

It's not just nightclubbing - I think some of our straight friends just don't get that, no matter what the group is doing, there's a completely different atmosphere when it's a group of "sistahs".
We talk about marriage from a different perspective 'cause we so recently won the right to it. (I know it's cheesy, but I like to equate it with what women in the early century must have been like when they got the vote ) We talk about raising kids, cancer, worship, household chores, job hunting, even clothing & makeup from a completely different perspective. There's a comfort in discussing trivial or common topics in a group where people all come from a very similar perspective.

RE: coming out vs. getting out

blupawz — Fri, 12 Aug 2005 17:15:48 GMT

Considering you are the moderator and God of this forum, it's only fair that you be included in all IRL activities that... the people on this forum... have planned... or something!

*shifty eyes* the forum layout changed...
This is very scary.

Have a good time camping, eh! and have a safe move if we don't talk to you before then.

Cheers ^o^

RE: coming out vs. getting out

Brendan — Mon, 08 Aug 2005 10:08:04 GMT

yea, I'm camping this upcoming weekend, free the 20th, the 26th is my going away party and the 27th is a friend's birthday, and then I'm moving back to vancouver for school the next weekend...

ahh well... don't feel that you have to arrange anything around me though, I'm just an anti-social homo anyway

RE: coming out vs. getting out

blupawz — Mon, 08 Aug 2005 02:45:50 GMT

August 20th? Oooh sure! Pick the *one* day that i'm totally "booked"
My grandparents are having this huge thing to celebrate their:

- birthdays [on the same day - oma is turning 60, my opa is turning 65]
- their 40th wedding aniversary
- 25 years in canada, aaaand
- my opa's retirement..

Celebrating them all on that *one* day because that's when family from out of town will be here.

BAH. August is a bad month. It's full of last minute celebration/parties/camping/outtings/school registering and orientations... It's an ugly month *bursts into tears*

You just *had* to move, eh... The forum finally gets people and you have to leave
...The city will miss you.

But friday could be considered part of the weekend, eh, how about the 19th? Or... something.

...

RE: coming out vs. getting out

Brendan — Sun, 07 Aug 2005 12:43:27 GMT

I'd be in ... but there's pretty much only one free weekend that I have left in Edmonton before I move to BC for school ... so if you want to do the Roost on the 20th then count me in (sorry, august is a traditionally a bad month for me to do things because it's usually full of camping followed by moving for school)

RE: coming out vs. getting out

blupawz — Sat, 06 Aug 2005 23:02:59 GMT

"Hey maybe we should go to the Roost together"
Eh? As in everyone from the forum?
That would totally be an experience.

Shy? If one is too shy then one misses out on some of the funkier stuff in life.

~blupawz

RE: coming out vs. getting out

LonleyBiLadyinEdmonton — Fri, 05 Aug 2005 15:37:37 GMT

Wow, I am relieved to hear I am not alone in the "where to meet" thing. I too am having a very hard time with it.

Hey maybe we should go to the Roost together. I went there last Tuesday night, at around 8:00 pm... and there was hardly anyone there... it was really depressing. The fact is too... even if there was someone there... I would be too shy to approach them anyway... so I just sat at the bar, had a couple of drinks... and left!

RE: coming out vs. getting out

jasce — Fri, 05 Aug 2005 09:36:59 GMT

I chat in a lesbian chat room, only a few edmonton lesbians go there, but it gives me a place to feel comfortable. and I have met a few from edmonton in there, so it is a start at least. www.shoe.org if you are interested in looking into it.

I am to old for the youth group, cause i am 27. and it seems that the groups for older people, are for older than 27.. I dont' really see a place for me. I will find one someday I hope.

RE: coming out vs. getting out

blupawz — Sat, 30 Jul 2005 12:10:14 GMT

Hey, Neon!
"Where do you all go to meet people? Not just romantically but for friendships too."
Just around! There's of course the bars and clubs... Youth Understanding Youth is really good...
The parade...
Or just like how you make friends with anyone else... It can all start with a friendly smile, a casual remark or just a "hey" *shrugs*
Talking to people online is usually a really good way to make friends...

Anyways! I'm off to Heritage Days
Talk to ya later.

~blupawz

RE: coming out vs. getting out

AllNeonLike — Sat, 30 Jul 2005 03:22:56 GMT

I can definetly relate.

I would absolutely love to meet a girl who I could be in a relationship with and just to have that intimacy in my life would be great. But I'm too shy to just get out there and go for it even though I don't come off as shy in the least.
Where do you all go to meet people? Not just romantically but for friendships too.

RE: coming out vs. getting out

blupawz — Mon, 25 Jul 2005 13:40:52 GMT

Aiee! You're alive!!!!!!
Busy is good ^o^ I guess it's better than spending all of your time online and checking this site, like, billions of times an hour to see if anyone posted anything, heh.

But it's awesome to hear that you're meeting people ^.^
Thanks for the update.

*poke*

~Blupawz

RE: coming out vs. getting out

jasce — Mon, 25 Jul 2005 09:46:47 GMT

sorry been so busy lately. Thanks for the advice. I have been meeting some people online and chatting with them, even hung out with one girl.
I am just gonna take baby steps cause if I did it too fast I would get so very intimidated. lol

Thanks again

RE: coming out vs. getting out

blupawz — Tue, 19 Jul 2005 22:39:05 GMT

*sigh* I wonder how jasce is doing?
It would've been nice to get an update

Eh.. *shifty eyes* spamspamspam!

Oh! To be on topic! I was reading around on LJ [livejournal]... and this one person mentioned hategroups!
Apparently there's a problem with: http://straightpridewear.com
Well, it's not so much the *clothes* that's a problem, it's the people wearing it.

Eh, scary stuff...

RE: coming out vs. getting out

Brendan — Sun, 26 Jun 2005 23:36:23 GMT

baby steps

I preferred to take the "baby steps" approach to getting involved with the community

I came out to a few friends (and alot of strangers - 'cause what did I care? they were strangers!) when I was 16 - when I was 18 I started going to the Roost on Fridays (because it was less crowded, so I was more comfortable) - took a hiatus for almost a year before some friends took me out on a saturday and I had a total blast..

I started volunteering with the Pride Centre (which I unfortunately don't do anymore because of my multiple jobs) when I started doing the social work program - officially for the sake of the experience - but it really helped with me becoming more comfortable with myself and wanting to be more involved

I wanted to make it to Pride last year but unfortunately missed it for work... so this year is the first that I made it and I had a great time in spite of the rain...

I sort of got off topic here - but basically I'm trying to say that it's easier to be involved with the community if you're comfortable in your own skin...

as far as meeting people worth dating - I can't help you - I'm romantically inept (but I'm happy, so it's all good)

RE: coming out vs. getting out

blupawz — Sun, 26 Jun 2005 00:24:48 GMT

Hey!!! Welcome to the forum.
I guess not all homosexuals/bisexuals have 'gay-dar', eh, I can completely relate to your post.

It does help to have open-minded friends [or even family] that are willing to go with you to the roost and pride events and what not... but, in some ways... It's like you have to learn how to be yourself and just - go for things.
If you always think about the 'what if's' ... "what if she's not a lesbian?" "what if she's not into girls like me" ... and all those other negative thoughts... then you'll never get anywhere.

Was talking to some people in a yahoo chat the other day... and they said that meeting women in bars wasn't the best way to go about things... that chatting online and meeting up was the best way... it all depends on the person. No doubt it's safer to go out with a group of people.... Even if it's just one other person....

I'm shy, too... that's why i prefer to hang out online and chat with people over the net, heh.

But... i'm rambling.

Just do whatever you feel comfortable with at first ... If you *want* to go to the roost, but have no one to go with... You can always go when it's less busy... or something... and scope it out first... Just do little things until you're comfy with yourself and... stop worrying about what people might think/react.

*scratches head in thought* sorry, i guess none of that sounded reassuring... or made sense... i'm trying!
But, eh, maybe it's a comfort to know that a lot of people are in the same boat??

Talk to ya later ^.~

coming out vs. getting out

jasce — Fri, 24 Jun 2005 17:08:54 GMT

It seems these days that it is not coming out that is the hard part, but that it is getting out in the community and meeting people that is the hard part.

I am so extremely shy, and to just go to the roost or to a dance alone or even to the pride centre would be scary as heck.

And whenever there is a girl I am interested in I don't know what to do, I mean you don't always know who is a lesbian just by looking and well I am way to shy to do anything. lol

So really, how did all those that are super involved in the community do it? Did you have friends support or did you just have the courage to get out there and do it?

Please help me lol. I need it. I am only shy at first.. once i get to know people I am super outgoing.

Thanks for listening