Pride Centre Of Edmonton Forums / Pride Centre of Edmonton Forums / General Discussion

Advise requested

confused — Tue, 17 Jun 2008 23:00:41 GMT

I'm female almost 50 yrs old, married long time, several children have never found my husband physically or sexually attractive. Last few years very difficult being physically, intimately involved with him. I cringe whenever he touches me and I need to fantasize about women when we make love otherwise I feel physically ill when he touches me. He is a great guy, we laugh a lot, get along great, he's a wonderful father and grandfather but when it comes to being physical I am having more and more difficulty being with him. It's not fair to him and I find myself looking at women in a sexual way more often. When I was in my late teens and early 20's I had female friends and we'd kiss and touch (pet) but never go beyond that. I've always found women more attractive than men. I am so confused. I find myself looking at and fantazing more and more about women. What should I do? It has taken almost a bottle of wine for me to find the courage to write this here. I feel like hell, I feel like I'm not being who I was meant to be but is it too late? Have I wasted my life. Will I ever be happy.
is there anybody out there who has or is going through what I'm going through? How are you handling it?
Somebody please let me know I'm not alone, or crazy.

Seeking advice/support group

purplegirl — Sun, 18 Jul 2010 17:33:42 GMT

Hi there,

Not quite sure where to start...I had a relationship with a woman, my first, not hers...it ended, not by us, mind you...a lot of hurt words were exchanged, hurt actions, some vindictiveness from both sides, now I am stalled....I can't get her out of my mind, can't stop thinking about her, she was the first to say "I love you", I was not even thinking of going down that road, but once she opened that door, it made me think that there could be a future together for us.... however, she was not willing to give up what she had in her life despite these words....I know that she has moved on, forgotten about me, but I am still stalled, caught in limbo, numb....I have seen a therapist, but the funding for that has run out...just wondering if there might be a support group or something similar, even one on one, that someone could suggest.

Thanks

Human Rights abuse by Canadian Superstore

Tygear — Sat, 20 Dec 2008 14:19:19 GMT

Approxamitely one year ago my employment with The Real Canadian Superstore came to an abrupt end when they Fired me. Later that evening me and my mother returned to the store and asked to see my manager in an attempt to discover why they had fired me. At first the beated around the bush saying things like " he wasn't up to company standards" and the like. My mother responded saying that if I don't find out why I was fired that I was likely to make the same mistake later and I wouldn't learn from it. My boss responded by telling my mom that she didn't want to reveal any information that I hadn't informed her of. My mom replied by saying that she knew all about my sexuality and that I had no secrets from her.

With that My manager hesitantly siad that the main reason that they had fired me was because a grandmother had made a complaint that I had openly admitted to being bisexual and that they were a "conservative company" and they couldn't have me on their payroll anymore. At first I didn't really fully grasp at what they were saying but after we left I put it all together. To compound things even more, they told me that they would have fired me earlier excepted that it was chrsitmas and they were busy so they kept me on for the Christmas season.

After consoling with my family and friends I decided to make a claim against them through the Human Rights commision. After a couple of months it was assigned to a delegate of sorts and we then attempted to get in touch with someone from Superstore to see if we could get a meeting so we could discuss a resolution. However they made nio attempt to respond for another couple of months so we decided to make an actual monetary request of $7000 which I calculated by taking my wage that they were paying me at the time multiplied by roughly 20 hours a week retrospectively from now to the time when they fired me. In my mind that is basically what I would've made from them had I not been fired. By my standard that was what I considered fair.

Again they waited another month and a half to actually responded to me and said that they had assigned a lawyer who rejected my offer and combatted with one of 500 dollars which as far as I am conserned is an insult. Not only to me but to all members of the gay community and the whole of Canada. Canadaians Prdie ourselves on being pro-human rights and yet here is a company that calls itself "the Real Canadian Superstore" who doesn't think that this is that big of an issue. $500 is chump change for Westfair foods (the company that owns the Real Canadian Superstore) I mean I my self could make that in two weeks working there. NO, NO, NO,NO, NO! I lost my job for being gay but the people who broke the law by firing me remain with their jobs and salaries intact, this is not an injustice that can be solved by a lame $500.

At first I had been hoping that Superstore might admit their mistakes,apoligize and offer a token as a respectful way of asking my forgiveness. However it appears as though that was just a naive sentiment. From here on in I shall devote myself to making sure that no Gay, lesbian, Bi ever has to suffer this indignity. This ends now. For ages we have been looked down upon. People claim that things are etting better but they are really not. People still look at us as being strange. The military's don't ask, don't tell policy is ridiculous. You can be gay as long as you don't take about it. It's like inviting the blacks inside for the first time but telling them that they better not make themselves known. I for one have had enough. Any one who feels the same please, when the time comes, join me in protesting against these injustices.

Most importantly anyone with similar cases or knows about protesting please advise me.

this is tough

Cut.the.mustard — Sat, 18 Apr 2009 21:26:39 GMT

Hi im jade

What im writing about is my bestfriend (desirae) me and her have been best friends since grade 2 and she has just relized that she is bisexual and she knows that im a lesbian so she asked if i wanted to go on a date and i said yes but idk if it was the right choose cause we are best friends and she is still in love with her exboyfriend she said she is over him but...she isnt i can tall the way she looks at him....well anyway are date is this friday and im gonna go but if she asks mee out then idk what do to.

please reaply

why isnt any one ever online?

Industrium-Love — Fri, 07 Dec 2007 21:27:57 GMT

some one that reads this should pm me so i have some one to talk to. please?? =)

non-bar/club hangouts?

sassypants — Sun, 12 Apr 2009 19:34:17 GMT

Hey there,

I'm not from Edmonton but I'll be coming to town sometime in July. Each time I've visited Edmonton I usually check out one or two of the queer bars just to keep me feeling safe and the homesickness at bay. This time things will be a little different as I've just gotten word that my 17 year old brother (who lives near Edmonton) is bi-curious. I'd like to take him out to some queer friendly coffee shops or restaurants or something, but all I can find are bar and pub listings.

Can anyone recommend some other non-bar hangouts where I might be able to take him? Is there a gay street or part of town?

I realize that sneaking into the queer bar before we're legal is a bit of a rite of passage as well and is something I would possibly consider as he's turning 18 only days after my trip, but as far as I can remember there is a pretty stringent ID checking process (there was a sign-in or something) to get into Edmonton queer bars. Info on clubs that aren't quite as strict would be welcome also.

At the very least I'm thinking of bringing him along with me to check out the queer centre (under the guise of it being for my own needs, as he's not actually out as bi-curious to me but knows that I'm queer), so that he at least knows that something like this exists and maybe info on one of the youth groups will catch his eye.

Thanks!

Post Op Woman Wants Dating Advice

Biirthaz — Tue, 03 Mar 2009 11:23:23 GMT

[size=3][font=Times New Roman]Now that I am a female post op, I really want to settle down with a man. I have been enrolled with online match services but don't seem to be able to find someone. GayEdmonton doesn't work for me anymore, Craiglists brings out the weird ones.

So where/how can I meet someone? While I don't expect someone to reply to this post to say, "I'm your Mr. Right," but what is a woman to do? Is there anyone out there who can give me pointers? HELP![/font][/size]

coming out as trans

glitterboi — Mon, 14 Sep 2009 21:44:16 GMT

Hi! So I have a question. I've recently gone back to school and I'm feeling like I am ready to come out to my teachers and classmates regarding my gender identity. Really my motivation stems from feeling invisible as a trans guy and not being comfortable with female pronouns. I am currently non-op and no-ho. I'm also avoiding using washrooms b/c I don't feel comfortable in the girls' washroom and yet I don't think me using the guys' washroom would go over so well. Does anybody have any experience in this area? -not really sure how to proceed!
Thanks for reading this and any responses would be great.
gb

Bisexuality, coming out, and why is it anyone's business?

Gills — Thu, 10 Dec 2009 20:36:16 GMT

Hello. New to the forum.

I am a bisexual who has never really come out to anybody in any formal kind of way. I never felt the need to. Straight, gay, lesbian or bi, isn't anybody else's business, as far as I'm concerned. I recently had a conversation with someone who suggested that I haven't come out because I'm scared.

I'm just wondering what the general consensus is out there. Do most of you truly believe that a person who doesn't advertise their sexuality is just afraid?

I'm fine with who I am, but I am curious to know what you all think.

Gills

Looking for a life partner

cuddly — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 22:48:36 GMT

Hello friends,

After being out for 7 years (coming out at 41) I really want to settle down with a man. I have been enrolled with online match services but don't seem to be able to find someone. Gay.com seems to be very, very heavy with those looking for sex. Other sites don't seem to have much to choose from. While there are many gay guys at work, they are all 20 years younger than me.

I have friends and they know I'm looking but there doesn't appear to be anyone in that network. So where/how can I meet someone? While I don't expect someone to reply to this post to say, "I'm Mr. Right," but what is a lonely man to do? Is there anyone out there who can give me pointers? HELP!

cuddly

our stories...

plunkyYum — Mon, 11 Apr 2005 19:16:26 GMT

hi all, i am a school student in Edmonton, oviously. i have fully known i am gay for the last two years. the denile stage almost killed me. i have been able to come out totally at school, which is lucky for me, cause not everyone can do that at their schools. i haven't yet comt out to my family, if they haven't realized it, they must be blind and def*. unfortunately, i am completely detached from the community because of my secret. i have full intention of telling them, i am just afraid of what they would think/do. so i have dedicated this topic to coming out stories. it would certainly help me to know hoe its done these days.

spiritual help

pastor — Fri, 12 Mar 2010 12:21:16 GMT

March-April 2010, 2 to 4 p.m. every Sunday except April 4, DOWNTOWN CHURCHILL STATION Stanley A. Milner Library(Edmonton Public Library) 6th floor, meeting room #5, spiritual-social workshops and discussions to help solve personal promlems, life crisis, depression-anxiety problems, Edmonton Christian Fellowship The Truth, FREE admission

Photographer seeming same sex couple for a couples portrait session. No charge. Please read

Nilbert — Fri, 12 Mar 2010 10:48:28 GMT

Hi everyone,

I hope I'm posting this in the correct location. I could not start a new general discussion for some reason so I'll post it here.

I'm a local photographer who is looking for a couple, same sex couples to do some portrait sessions on in good taste and make some beautiful photographs. I will do this free of charge and include the DVD of all the images so you can print them where ever you wish and as much as you wish. I'm looking to build my portfolio in this area as I would like to see work in this area.

Please feel free to check out my work at www.LoveBucketPhotography.ca and www.HarveyBlog.com.

If you are interested please send me an email at Harvey at LoveBucketPhotography.com

All are welcome.

On a side note, I have a project going on (www.HarveyBlog.com) called the 100 people project. Anyone is welcome to be a part of this project. We feature you on the blog with some questions we ask you. It's great and fun and all free. You can find more details out on the blog.

Thank you for your time,

Harvey

www.HarveyBlog.com

GYM Buddy?

mr_nice_guy — Thu, 11 Jun 2009 12:30:01 GMT

Hi All,

I'm looking for a reliable GYM buddy. Going alone is cool, but it would be great to have someone to share laughs with and make it a more social experience, while I'm on my way (long road it may be) to getting in shape and being healthy and more active. Gender isn't important as I am looking for friendship.

It would be cool if I could find someone who could offer me some workout tips, but it would be also great to get in shape with someone looking to do the same.

Please msg me if you are interested and thanks for reading =)

Buck Angel @ Exposure.

glitterboi — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 11:04:20 GMT

Has anybody been checking out the Exposure Festival? Anybody catch Buck Angel? I wasn't able to go. ;(

Demonika's Symphony of Horrors

dresden — Thu, 14 May 2009 21:30:27 GMT

Come one, come all to the cabaret show of everything dark & lovely

Gay Men with Prostate Cancer Survey

GM PCa — Wed, 04 Mar 2009 08:52:25 GMT

The Department of Psychology at Ryerson University and the Baylor College of Medicine are trying to understand how prostate cancer affects the lives of gay men.

We would like you to tell us about...
-your prostate cancer diagnosis
-what treatments you have received
-how those treatments may have affected your life and relationships

If men who take part in the project have a significant other or partner, their partner may also be eligible to complete a separate web-based survey about his experience as a partner of a man with prostate cancer.

All information is CONFIDENTIAL

If you interested in this study, please call or email...
Phone: 1-866-643-7604
E-mail: CancerOutcomes@psych.ryerson.ca

***$20 upon completion of the survey ***

Moving to edmonton soon

noneed — Fri, 23 Jan 2009 01:28:50 GMT

hi my names brent im going to be moving to edmonton in the next couple of months and i just recently started to accept myself i still havent told my family anything yet cuase most of them are the old-school wont accept things type ppl. im hopeing ill be moved by mid febuay so i intend on coming by and meeting some ppl and im hopeing on gettign some advice and make some friends to hangout with i dont know anyone in the city. i was wondering if witht eh events and groups that the centre hosts is it like membership type thing like do i havta sign up or anything or are they just drop-in. if anyone whos a regular or who works there has any questions to ask me to get to know me so when i do start going to the centre it wont be so hard for me to get to knwo ppl i have trouble talking to ppl face to face right away and when i coem i want to be able to make the most of the time here.

Editing...?

Sara — Sat, 22 Nov 2008 07:04:18 GMT

Hiya's

How is post Editing govern'd? When is someone able to edit their own post?

Saturday at the Centre with Forest....

Irreverent — Sat, 25 Oct 2008 16:53:58 GMT

So it must be another Saturday at the Centre, cause Forest is here, in all his bravery, keeping us all safe at the Centre. In all his glory, he stands mighty from behind the protection of his masters legs. There used to be the ol days of being scared and nervous about the people here, but saftey is our middle name now... that Forest is here.

Imagine Forest, with super hero cape on his back, we know we are safe from the evils of the world. But what is this, the evil does Peanut has just showed up. As in true Pokemon fashion, we're going to have an all out war of the worlds with the two sides at battle.

Peanut's master brings in tasty temptations to tempt up to the side of the evil does. And what's this, there's salso too? Oh this cruel world of temptation and treats. Forest shall protect us I swear. If not, I'm leaving in twenty minutes. What do I care!

THE MIGHTY BARK! I was about two heart beats away from pooping my pants with the Peanut of destruction flapping her chops under the desk. Evill lil monster!

So, that's the big thing today for the Centre - see you next week!

Its a sad Saturday at the Centre....

Irreverent — Sat, 11 Oct 2008 15:56:21 GMT

Okay, lets be honest. Its not a sad day at the centre. Its the usual quiet library feeling the centre normally does. Yes the phone rang today, and yes I answered.

So if the centre isn't sad,then what is? I am. This past Wednesday, one of my best friends lost his mother to cancer. She battled it very bravely for the last three years, but at 5:10pm on Oct 8, 2008, she took her final breath.

It was really dishearting to watch a rather healthy and active 57 year old wither away and watch the life be drained out of her. How I was beside myself when the doctor came in, and told us that there is nothing more to do then to watch her pass away. How can this be so quick? Just on Monday when she was rushed to the emergency, did they not give her 6 - 8 weeks more to live. Then to run to the hospital on Wednesday on the doctor's word she has less then twelve hours.

Now I don't have a thing against hospitals, as my grandmother spent my whole entire life in the hospital due to Multiple Schleorsis. But this was, my first time ever watching 1. someone die, and 2. the body. It really shows you the fragile string we balance on everyday between life and death.

I can remember having lunch with her, and doing grocery shopping. My friends mom is deaf, but she lived her life to the fullest, and you'd never ever think she would give up. But I guess sometimes cancer has the power to overcome the hopes, the good wishes, and the prayers, to take someone from your life that meant so much.

The memorial is next week, and i'm not sure about how I am going to handle it. I know I have to be strong for my friend that lost his mom, but at the same time, we all have to share a bit of weakness.

I do bring a smile to my face when I think she no longer has to suffer, and she is now free of her entrampment of the cancer. Cutting herself off from friends and family as she always wanted people to remember her for who she was, and not what she has deteriotated too.

I will never forget both Lorraine when she was happy and healthy, and I'll never forget her the last day she was with us. I cant' help but think we are all going to face death one day, just hope for the people we love it can take a while.

I think of you every night Lorraine. I think of the brave face you put on every day, and the never ending smile for everyone would think you were okay. You are an inspiration to a lot of people, and you will never be forgotten.

Miss ya ladybug.

Question about Games Night

Sinclair — Wed, 17 Sep 2008 13:16:43 GMT

Because I am not the bar type, I've been looking through different events to try to find a way to meet people. (a la "getting out, vs. coming out" thread.)

So, who can come to Games Night? What kind of games are being played? Is it a youth event, or can people who are, say, 30, come and actually hang out with people their own age?

It seems kind of unfair that there is a special group for people under 25, and a special group for lesbians over 40... and nothing for those of us inbetween. I am probably wrong about this, and will welcome correction!

I was late, but at the Pride Centre on Saturday

Irreverent — Sat, 27 Sep 2008 14:53:14 GMT

I really don't know if anyone will care why exactly I'm late, but with nothing better to do, you might as well read what exciting news happened to me. I was in a car rally. For those of you who do not know what a car rally is...(yes, some people really don't know) you get a list of clues, and have to drive around the fantastic City of Edmonton, and get your pictures taken with the answers.

Oh boy, what fun!

Anyways, my team won. The Underlined Sarcasm cruised into victory like no one's business. I know, exciting as that is, you probably don't care.

So, here we are at the centre, and the coffee is fresh, but the music ain't on. Be very very quiet, its a library in here. There's something growing in the bowl on the desk too. No I won't touch it....

Not much else to say, as my whole world is revolving around the fact our team came in first LOL.

See ya next Saturday.

What's that, its Saturday at the Centre?

Irreverent — Sat, 20 Sep 2008 15:55:54 GMT

Well I blushed when I found out last Sunday that I missed coming in for my volunteering. How the faithful viewers of the Saturday Pride Centre posting must have been lost.

So here we are again, September now, and the leaves are a changin! The magical colours of red, orange and, well brown isn't magical, but you know what I mean. Is in abundance no matter where you look.

Soon we'll be back into coats, swearing at old man winter, and shaking our first as our bus leaves the station, and you're left standing there another half an hour, in -32 weather waiting for the next one. Those who brave public transit, are heroes.

But before we got sinking into the deepfreezer for the next eight months, we still got some great fall weather to enjoy. The part the gets me is, why the heck does the centre still roast when tis nto hot out side. Must have been that turn of the century architecture tha built this place into the fine insulated brick building it is.

Today was busier then most. Hold you shorts, I 'm about to tell you something amazing. THE PHONE RANG TODAY. At first I had to look around, because I didnt' know what the ringing was. You know those slight lapses in judgement when you hear a ringing in yoru ear, and can't figure otu what it is? Kind of like that, but luckily, a light flashed on the phone, and i was home from from there.

See ya all next week!

Another day at the Centre

Irreverent — Sat, 23 Aug 2008 14:30:06 GMT

Its another beautiful day in Edmonton, and the Pride Centre is open for business, and is just waiting for people to utilize it.

It wasn't like last weekend though. I hope you all recall the egg cookin on the sidewalk story from last weekend. Least it tolerable in this weather, and people's brains are melting as fast as ice cream. This weekend is a lot nicer so why aren't people out there.

Two and a half more hours to go, and I to will be able to enjoy the day. What's would you desribe as your best day?

Saturday at the Pride Centre

Irreverent — Sat, 16 Aug 2008 15:51:37 GMT

As a new volunteer at the pride centre, and to maybe get the forums more active, I thought, why not do a message.

So its Saturday, and its hot out. Not your nice summer hot out, but freakin hot out enough to cook an egg on the sidewalk. If I had an egg right now, I'd be outside. Instead, I'm inside, and I've got a fan. Fans are our friends.

What's your favorite fan story?

Have you ever read Love Rules by Marilyn Reynolds?

Industrium-Love — Sun, 18 Nov 2007 18:59:04 GMT

Have you ever read Love Rules by Marilyn Reynolds?

Im recomending this book to evryone because its one of my favorite books and the sad thing is its partly about schools not defending homosexual students, and every time I read the book it reminds me about my school... its really sad...

please read the book an tell me if u love it =P

Shane.

coming out vs. getting out

jasce — Fri, 24 Jun 2005 17:08:54 GMT

It seems these days that it is not coming out that is the hard part, but that it is getting out in the community and meeting people that is the hard part.

I am so extremely shy, and to just go to the roost or to a dance alone or even to the pride centre would be scary as heck.

And whenever there is a girl I am interested in I don't know what to do, I mean you don't always know who is a lesbian just by looking and well I am way to shy to do anything. lol

So really, how did all those that are super involved in the community do it? Did you have friends support or did you just have the courage to get out there and do it?

Please help me lol. I need it. I am only shy at first.. once i get to know people I am super outgoing.

Thanks for listening